Seeking songwriter & melody

I am looking for a songwriter that will provide both lyrics and a melody. I have always loved singing so I would like to be the vocalist. This is the first time I've ever tried to do anything like this so if I need to provide more info or you have any tips for future reference that would be great. I love pop rap, it seems to be the music type I'm drawn to so that's what I want. I want the song to be about young, dumb, toxic love. I'm not sure if that sounds silly but to ... give you some insight, my daughters dad and I were together from 2013 to 2019. We had our daughter when I was 16, we were so in love but toxic and dumb and eventually broke up in 2019. Unfortunately, this year he passed away unexpectedly and I know there were so many things left unsaid and it kills me inside to know that. I don't have the first clue on how to turn my experience into a song so I thought I'd start here, so the state of production is just this. My goal is to become a vocalist myself but I'm not sure I'll ever be able to write my own song completely by myself. Some song references Love hurts by lil tjay & love you from a distance Ashley Kutcher.

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